Delilah is 26, works in tech, and lives downtown. She says she is “intense, nerdy, dedicated, competitive, loyal and athletic, with a self-deprecating sense of humour.” Delilah loves her job, sports, history, cottage weekends, and watching The Bachelor. She says, “I also love a night alone every once and a while, to tune out the world and relax in a bath.” Delilah says “I am looking for someone who is driven, passionate, and has a desire to do something with their life, and make something of themselves. Someone who cares about the world around them. Someone who can be goofy and silly, but also kind and respectful. Someone who is comfortable exploring new places and trying new things.”
I’m looking for something serious and real, so I recently implemented a new rule for myself: one date a week. It can be a second or third date, doesn’t matter, but I have to get myself out there. It seems like a monumental effort, but I feel like it will eventually be worth it, especially given that I haven’t had any luck at a bar or doing activities.
So far, I’ve only met one guy who I felt chemistry with, and he ghosted me. I guess it wasn’t mutual.
Because of this rule, I decided to go out for lunch with Reggie, who I met on an app. He was cute, and I liked that he appeared to be invested in his job and have a sense of humour.
It didn’t start out well, because Reggie was 30 minutes late meeting me at the pub. I was irritated by that. He did tell me he was “running behind,” but half an hour is really pushing it. He did not apologize or have an excuse. Strike one.
He was medium attractive. If he had been a nicer guy, he would have been more attractive to me.
When we started to order drinks, I told him to go for it but that I was participating in Dry January, so I wouldn’t be drinking. He was clearly taken aback by this, but more than that, seemed really annoyed by it. I’d been on other dates during Dry January with two different guys who had no problem with my not drinking. One was a coffee date, and the other was happy to sip soda water with me and enjoy dinner without booze. Also, Reggie and I met for lunch: who needs to drink at lunch? Maybe at a relaxed Sunday brunch with girlfriends, but not a first-date lunch. Strike two.
The vibe was thrown totally off, but it was already clear that there was no connection. Reggie said that in light of my Dry January thing we shouldn’t eat at the pub we had chosen because it was “too boozy.” OK, sure, even though I had happily agreed to it before the date. I suggested a deli a short walk away, instead.
It was clear as soon as we got to the deli that Reggie wasn’t happy to be there. He stopped making eye contact with me, and proceeded to talk about himself for the entire meal. He asked me a grand total of two questions. I counted. I started pushing him, asking questions, just to see how long he could talk about himself without realizing that he hadn’t asked me anything.
It was kind of fun to watch, but also I was thinking, “Why am I wasting my time with yet another dude who doesn’t know how to have a conversation, and who is clearly annoyed with me not drinking, and by extension him not drinking?” I didn’t know the answers.
I went to the bathroom to text my girlfriend about how bad this date was, and irrationally hoped Reggie would be gone when I got back. He wasn’t.
For the rest of the date, Reggie complained to me that the friends he was supposed to see that night had gone out of town without him, and he was mad that he didn’t have anything to do. He kept saying that he had to figure out what to do with the rest of his day, and I felt like he was insinuating that we should keep hanging out. But, there was no way I was going to spend another minute of my day with him.
Delilah rates her date (out of 10): 1
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